Hey Bloomers, Let's pick up our shovels and dig right in. You've probably heard the saying "Reading is fundamental" a few times, right? Well, I wholeheartedly agree. A wealth of wisdom and knowledge awaits us on every page. 📖 Throughout my journey, I've often heard mentors and leaders emphasize the importance of investing in the content of those who inspire us. Whether it's through e-courses, books, training sessions, or any other material, I've discovered that many of the questions we seek answers to have been answered within the content. It's just a matter of dedicating the time to explore and invest in their insights.
While I have a passion for writing, I also love to read, especially autobiographies. Some may view this curiosity as intrusive or nosy, which I can admit to a tiny portion of that part haha, 🙈 but I see it as a valuable precaution. Autobiographies offer a window or glimpse into the author's life journeys, which include their achievements, challenges, and influences that shaped their identity and perspectives.
Investing in a quality book, whether it's an autobiography or another genre, allows us to bypass unnecessary detours and find smoother routes to success by learning from the individual. We all have unique learning styles – some grasp concepts by listening, while others require hands-on experience. Personally, I learn best by doing or being hands-on in most situations. I must admit there were seasons in my life I would have preferred learning by simply listening, but my pride led me to the other roads.
Growing up, I struggled to find my identity and what I wanted in life. With little reassurance and affirmation, I heeded the voices of what "the people" said I would be, causing me to prioritize other's approval before my own. This led to many insecurities, and it opened wide the door to depression, severe substance abuse,💊 and numerous setbacks. These challenges might have been avoided had I listened to the advice of those with direct experience. However, I rarely voiced my need for the resources required, leaving others unaware of how to assist me. By choice, I endured my struggles in silence.
After experiencing a devastating breakup, 💔 I lost sight of my true self and the person I aspired to be. I felt a part of myself fade further into the darkness, distancing myself from the world. As time passed, I became numb and desensitized to life's experiences. The coldness of my heart resembled that of a frozen piece of ice, unresponsive to warmth or emotion. 🧊 My once compassionate heart eventually yielded to bitterness and resentment, shutting out any possibility of connection.
When I eventually confided in specific individuals, I found myself fully embodied in who I allowed this breakup to make me into. Unknowingly, it was as though I was reciting it word for word from a script. I had adopted a victim mindset and often shifted the blame to others, leading to a lack of personal accountability. Being a victim refers to experiencing harm or suffering as a result of circumstances beyond your control. On the other hand, a victim mentality goes beyond the experience of victimization. It adopts a mindset of "Why me?", rather than focusing on how to overcome adversity. Even in situations where one may have control, individuals with a victim mentality tend to dwell and shed light 🔦 on the negatives. They perceive themselves as helpless, powerless, and unjustly treated by others. I, unfortunately, found myself embodying this mindset as well.
The most significant impact doesn't stem from the circumstances themselves, but rather from how we react to them. I discovered that I reacted negatively about 95% of the time. I allowed myself to be swayed by the opinions of others, resulting in further harm to myself and those around me. Grief, hatred, and rejection were all significant elements added to my story. 😥 I want to emphasize that I'm not downplaying the depth of my emotions, or how hurt this caused me, but rather questioning why I allowed myself to remain defeated in that state for an extended time. Extended periods of depression or grief are not normal, and I learned this firsthand through my experiences. Depression robbed me of great joy, and there were times when I felt too weary to fight. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you knew victory required a fight, but internally, you felt drained and lacked the willpower to continue? Have you ever felt tempted to forfeit the match before it even began? 😫 Those are just a few of the outcomes depression can leave you with.
It took years to break free from the cycle. ⛓ I found myself trapped in the same repetitive patterns, year after year, all because I made a choice to remain there due to the victim's mentality. While some situations may require counseling or professional intervention, others boil down to a simple choice: Will I take action or not? There is no middle ground when dealing with your destiny. You must reach a point of exhaustion with your current state and be deliberate on your journey toward healing. Initially, I felt hopeless, convinced I would never escape the mess. However, I decided to prioritize my well-being and rediscover my true self.
If you're going through a similar experience, I want to share with you that there is hope. 🙌 Refuse to accept toxicity and make yourself a priority. Recognizing that I no longer wanted to dwell in that dark place was a pivotal moment for me. I made efforts to avoid revisiting places that triggered painful memories and emotions. I was fortunate enough to have supportive friends who held me accountable and provided valuable feedback. If I could leave you with helpful advice, it would be to encourage you to consciously choose and commit to your path of healing, steer clear of environments that trigger negative emotions, and embrace the support of friends to help you stay focused. I believe you possess the potential for a favorable outcome, yet the determining factor lies within the choices you make now. Are you ready to be a victor?
See you on the next blog Wednesday!
You are a bloomer. Bloom baby bloom, with me, Tee! 😌
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